PeaPod says goodbye

Writing is in my blood and my soul. I’ve always written and treasured the value of words. As I’ve said before, it’s often passion that drives my need to express. I write on wonder or curiosity or anger. I write when I’m low and I write when I’m brimming over.

Wired In was only weeks old when I started posting. First with my own story and then on just about everything else. I felt a true connection and became part of a much bigger community – very much like the start of my own recovery in mutual aid groups. Back then a week or so could go by before we got an update. Now it seems almost daily. What growth!

It’s time to acknowledge that PeaPod has reached the end of the road. He needs a rest. I chose PeaPod as a nom-de-plume when I first started blogging on Wired In three years ago.

There were several reasons for not blogging under my own name. One of them was so that I could respect the traditions of my fellowship. Another was to be free of the constraints, stereotypes and roles that my own identity and occupation conferred. At the start of this year I started my own blog at Binge Inking and have had great fun there. Last weekend I posted for the last time.

PeaPod has been an interesting chap: an extension of myself, but also a freer and less careful version – perhaps even a more authentic version with an edge less blunted by fear. Sometimes, in reactive moments, I’ve written things I might have been better not to, but these are pretty rare.

When I look back at some of my earliest blogs, I can see that I’m a little wiser today, a little more sanguine and reflective. Perhaps even a little less judgemental. There’s not much that I would take back completely though.

And what a subject: addiction and recovery! Certainly never dull – ultimately it’s about people and their stories. It’s about the power of the narrative.

Brought violently to the subject through personal experience I’ve not waned in my awe at the transformative power of recovery. Very much the opposite: my interest has waxed, though if I move too far away from the road that brought me to this point, I get diminished. Small and tight and dark. My ability to write on recovery is intimately bound to my own experience of it.

It is true though that there is little that is truly original in the world. As Natalie Goldberg says, “Writing is a communal art… We are carried on the backs of all the writers that came before us”. In my case, I’ve been inspired by Bill White, David Best, Keith Humphreys, David Clark, Dirk Hanson, Kevin McAuley and of course Jason Schwartz. Thanks to Jim Young too for the great photographs that I pinched for Binge Inking.

It’s time for me to move on. New opportunities and new horizons beckon. There’s some boldly going to be done and PeaPod needs to say goodbye.

Thanks to all my fellow travellers on this journey. I have learned much. Particular thanks go to David and Michaela who made it possible.

It’s been a blast!

16 comments - First published on: 30/09/2011

Recovery growth and transforrmation

The Recovery Academy has published the programme for the forthcoming conference in Edinburgh this September. The event takes place at Pollock Halls (University of Edinburgh) and has been organised in tandem with the Scottish Drugs Recovery Consortium. Here’s what they say:

“This prestigious, accessible conference programme is designed to reflect contemporary thinking in the field of recovery through presentations, workshops and a unique opportunity to participate in a research methodology masterclass: “How to investigate and report grassroots recovery.”

Speakers include: Dr George De Leon, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine; Professor Jo Neale, Professor of Public Health at Oxford Brookes University, Associate Professor David Best of Monash University, and Rebecca Daddow of the RSA. Open Narcotics Anonymous and SMART Recovery meetings will run at the lunch breaks and a series of afternoon workshops will offer a wealth of choice to delegates.

As indicated above, I think there is likely to be considerable interest in the masterclass led by Rowdy Yates and Jo Neale on “How to investigate and report grassroots recovery”. There are great opportunities for recovering people and those active in the recovery movement to help to add to the recovery evidence base.

The conference is on Tuesday 27th September 2011 and the cost is a very reasonable £95. There are limited places available for service users at £5 . You can download the programme and booking form here.

1 comments - First published on: 23/07/2011

Five things NOT to do in early recovery

Some choices and behaviours are more likely than others to trip us up. I’ve gathered five red recovery flags together to highlight potential pitfalls for the unwary.

But who am I to be prescriptive? Everyone needs to make up his or her own mind about what to do or what not to do. I’ve known people who’ve avoided most of the things on my list and still come a cropper and I’ve known folk break all the “rules” and not wobble too much. So take what you like and leave the rest….

1) Avoid romantic relationships early on. The ‘love’ can act like a drug in itself and the relationship can become the focus of life meaning that healthy activities, and in particular recovery-oriented activities, may suffer. The rock that wrecks the ship tends to be when the relationship goes wrong. Develop a relationship with yourself first and avoid choppy waters.

2) Don’t hang out with old friends. Using or drinking buddies not in recovery tend to continue to use or drink. That’s kind of self-evident really. In addition, there’s often something very uncomfortable for them in having a friend in recovery. There’s a tendency not to like that.

I’ve lost count of the number of times folk I’ve known have relapsed due to a visit to a friend or allowing a friend to drop by with a small gift. Give yourself a break and stay clear of folk who are still dealing with the problem.

3) Don’t hang out in old haunts or at events that you associate with drinking or using. There’s an old recovery saying: “If you sit in the barber’s chair long enough, you’ll get a haircut”. Pubs, clubs, concerts, weddings, funerals, stag nights and parties can be runaway relapse trains for those reaching for recovery.

Find new places to go to. In several large cities and towns there are recovery-oriented activities and events to enjoy and there are more on the way as the recovery movement gains steam.

4) Avoid the ‘first’ drink or drug. An old AA favourite pearl of wisdom, this was based solely on experience in the early days, but it’s backed up by the neuroscience and by other evidence.

The quiet whisper that says: “It’s okay now, my system is cleared out, I’ll be okay with a glass of wine or a line of coke or heroin” is compelling, but we’re back in treacherous waters if we listen. For those of us who had serious dependence issues, going back to ‘safe’ use is not normally an option.

5) Don’t isolate. Ah, the curse of the addict: isolation. So easy to do, yet so destructive. It’s connectivity to others that help many of us to move forward in recovery. I was talking with a lovely friend in recovery earlier this evening and we laughed at how I use that word to death, but I make no apologies.

Connecting to others allows us to deal with stress better, we lead happier lives and we both help and are helped. In one study, just adding one sober person to your social network reduced relapse rates by 27%.

Illustrated version and more at Binge Inking

4 comments - First published on: 15/07/2011

Junkies and the Tabloid Press

Steve Coogan, interviewed on the BBC’s Newsnight last week, delighted in the demise of the News of the World which he described as “a misogynistic, xenophobic, single-parent-hating, asylum-seeker-hating newspaper”. He might legitimately have added “addict-abhorring” to the list – the derogatory term ‘junkie” was used routinely in the pages of the late NOTW.

Complaints to the Press Complaints Commission (PCC) have been made, but the response has been that challenging the usage was “unlikely to gain the support of the PCC” as “junkie” was not deemed to be offensive.

Therefore, it was a breath of fresh air to see that our nearest European neighbours, the Irish, had a more enlightened attitude. Their own version of the PCC found that the term was indeed offensive and censured the Irish Independent for this and other unacceptable reporting on people with drug dependence.

If it were only the News of the World to blame here we could let down our guard, but this is an issue the tabloid press need to address across the board. Recent referrals to an actress’s “junkie brother” and to “junkie justice” and “junkie scroungers” have all been apparent. The tabloids all use the term ‘junkie” in their headlines and copy with impunity.

As is illustrated by the News of the World scandal, unacceptable practice can become normalised and the red-tops seem to think that they can behave as they want in this regard. I predict that those days are ending. As the experience in Ireland shows, when recovering people and their supporters speak up, things can change. The Press Complaints Commission is likely to be replaced with something with a little more bite and I hope to see a time when the word “junkie” will be ruled pejorative.

What has happened with News International has sent out shock waves. For me the headline story is not the failings of existing journalistic practice; that’s something we’ve observed for years. The concern is that millions of us (including those who are stigmatised in their pages) continue to buy the tabloids and don’t protest at the unacceptable. That’s what scares me.

An illustrated version of this blog and more can be found at Binge Inking

4 comments - First published on: 12/07/2011